Today

Today

Today I’m flying low and I’m
not saying a word.
I’m letting all the voodoos of ambition sleep.

The world goes on as it must,
the bees in the garden rumbling a little,
the fish leaping, the gnats getting eaten.
And so forth.

But I’m taking the day off.
Quiet as a feather.
I hardly move though really I’m traveling
a terrific distance.

Stillness. One of the doors
into the temple.

-Mary Oliver, from A Thousand Mornings

We Have Come To Be Danced

We have come to be danced
Not the jiffy booby, shake your booty for him dance
But the wring the sadness from our skin dance
The blow the chip off our shoulder dance.
The slap the apology from our posture dance.

We have come to be danced
Not the monkey see, monkey do dance
One two dance like you
One two three, dance like me dance
but the grave robber, tomb stalker
Tearing scabs and scars open dance
The rub the rhythm raw against our soul dance.

We have come to be danced
Not the nice, invisible, self-conscious shuffle
But the matted hair flying, voodoo mama
Shaman shakin’ ancient bones dance
The strip us from our casings, return our wings
Sharpen our claws and tongues dance
The shed dead cells and slip into
The luminous skin of love dance.

We have come to be danced
Not the hold our breath and wallow in the shallow end of the floor dance
But the meeting of the trinity, the body breath and beat dance
The shout hallelujah from the top of our thighs dance
The mother may I?
Yes you may take 10 giant leaps dance
The olly olly oxen free free free dance
The everyone can come to our heaven dance.

We have come to be danced
Where the kingdom’s collide
In the cathedral of flesh
To burn back into the light
To unravel, to play, to fly, to pray
To root in skin sanctuary
We have come to be danced
We have come.

by Jewel Mathieson

Christian?

“When the imitation of Christ does not mean to live a life like Christ, but to live as authentically as Christ lived, then there are many ways and forms in which a man can be a Christian.”

~Henri J. M. Nouwen from "The Wounded Healer"

Garden and Life

A Standing Ground by Wendell Berry

From his book New Collected Poems, 2012, p.133

However just and anxious I have been
I will stop and step back
from the crowd of those who may agree
with what I say, and be apart.
There is no earthly promise of life or peace
but where the roots branch and weave
their patient silent passages in the dark;
uprooted, I have been furious without an aim.
I am not bound for any public place,
but for ground of my own
where I have planted vines and orchard trees,
and in the heat of the day climbed up
into the healing shadow of the woods.
Better than any argument is to rise at dawn
and pick dew-wet berries in a cup.

Hurt

"The worm is one of the only creatures that grows from bing cut.  Mysteriously, if you cut a worm in two, each half becomes whole, and you have two worms.

What is it in how the worm lives that allows it to grow from its pain, and how might we translate that to being human  It lives in humus -the soil- inside and out. 

Perhaps the secret to growing from our wounds is to live close to the earth, to live with our hearts and minds and bellies always in touch -both inside and out - with that which is larger than we are. 

Perhaps, when cut in two, it is a life of humility, of risking to be at one with the soil of our experience, that allows us to heal into something entirely new."  Mark Nepo

When was the last time you sang?

"We often underestimate the power of giving voice, bit it is real and sustaining.  It is the basis of all song.  It is at the heart of all hymns and matras.  And it works it's healing, not so much by being heard as by the fact that in giving voice to what is within, even through the softest whisper, we allow the world of spirit to soften our pain.  In this way, the smallest moan is in itself a lullaby.  In giving voice to what we feel, the darkest cry uttered with honesty can arrive at the holiest of songs."   Mark Nepo

Hanneli's Wish

"May the integrity of Peace and Truth be celebrated.  May love and courage shine in your heart stronger than ever, and may you find within you the light of a thousand suns to blaze through whatever challenges you face in times ahead.

May you meet the suffering of the world with compassion, both for yourself and for others.

May you shatter your self-imposed limitations with fierce honesty and persistent love.

May you invite the demons to show their faces with the confidence of your inner strength, knowing there is no darkness you cannot face with love in your heart.   May you find yourself in many unexpected fields of wild flowers and circles of compassionate friends.  May you share laughter and tears with openness and freedom. 

May we recognize the heart of ourselves in the eyes of each we meet. 

May you follow your aspirations, your heart and your dreams more fully than ever before.   When you feel awkward, know you are walking your own edge and growth and healing are also present.  Deep breath....

Somatic Perception

"Somatic perception is the capacity each one of us has for knowing what is best for our own body.  When we awaken somatic perception we take the ownership of healing away from an expert and give it back to our own body.  We let our own wisdom tell us what and how much to eat, how to exercise, when to rest, how to heal.  Healing begins when we realize and rediscover our instinctual somatic perception.   this can happen only when we stop trying to control or fix or transcend the body and instead let the animal of the body lead us into healing."  Marion Woodman

Coming Down to Earth

"In the East and the West, there is a deeply rooted desire or need to transcend who we naturally are.  Some higher power, some God, finds us unacceptable as we are.  We've spent thousands of years learning the art of self-transcendence.   But life is a matter of of incarnation.  The soul is an entity that lives within our human body.  The problem is too many people in our culture try to skip over this step and go straight up into spirit.   Over-spiritualization is a real danger but usually the body starts to scream.   If we can learn to listen to our body's symptoms or to our addictions or to the symptoms of the planet, we can start coming down to earth again.  If you want to heal - heal your body and your soul - you have to surrender; you have to give up control; you have to stop trying to be perfect, because eventually you have to face the fact that you are not God and you cannot control your life."  Marion Woodman

Healing

"Healing is not forcing the sun to shine, but letting go of that which blocks the light."  Stephen Levine

Surviving

"How does one survive cancer? Of course -- good doctors, good insurance, good luck. But the real healing comes from not being forgotten. From attention, from care, from love, from being surrounded by a community of those who demand information on your behalf, who advocate and stand up for you when you are in a weakened state, who sleep by your side, who refuse to let you give up, who bring you meals, who see you not as a patient or victim but as a precious human being, who create metaphors where you can imagine your survival. This is my medicine, and nothing less will suffice."  Eve Ensler

Resilience

"Despite early injury and all the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, we bear the image of a definite individual character with some enduring traits."  James Hillman

Darkness and Light

"Don't worry about being good.  Instead discover how both good and bad live within you.   Deeply accept the shadow even as you seek the light.  Believe in change.  Take full responsibility for  who you are and what you want.  And from such forthright wisdom your goodness with prevail and your kindness will blossom and your heart will heal."   Elizabeth Lesser

Armor

"The same armor that accumulates over the years to defend against the pain and fear becomes the same armor that keeps us from healing, from experiencing joy, from feeling love.   This armoring is the accumulation of all the moments we have given ourselves and others so little mercy.   We are so hard on ourselves, so hard on each other.  Healing begins when we soften our stance toward our own tender self."  Stephen Levine

Becoming Human

"It took me a long time to decide to become a human being, and look within my own flawed nature for salvation.   It took mistakes, dark nights of the soul, hard work and help from teachers and friends to fashion a spirituality that respected both my divinity and my humanity, my radiance and my shadow.   It took my own combination of religion and psychology, meditation and physical healing, mysticism and science to forge a path that felt genuine and effective."   Elizabeth Lesser

Please Call Me By My True Names

Don't say that I will depart tomorrow --
even today I am still arriving.

Look deeply: every second I am arriving
to be a bud on a Spring branch,
to be a tiny bird, with still-fragile wings,
learning to sing in my new nest,
to be a caterpillar in the heart of a flower,
to be a jewel hiding itself in a stone.

I still arrive, in order to laugh and to cry,
to fear and to hope.

The rhythm of my heart is the birth and death
of all that is alive.

I am the mayfly metamorphosing
on the surface of the river.
And I am the bird
that swoops down to swallow the mayfly.

I am the frog swimming happily
in the clear water of a pond.
And I am the grass-snake
that silently feeds itself on the frog.

I am the child in Uganda, all skin and bones,
my legs as thin as bamboo sticks.
And I am the arms merchant,
selling deadly weapons to Uganda.

I am the twelve-year-old girl,
refugee on a small boat,
who throws herself into the ocean
after being raped by a sea pirate.
And I am the pirate,
my heart not yet capable
of seeing and loving.

I am a member of the politburo,
with plenty of power in my hands.
And I am the man who has to pay
his "debt of blood" to my people
dying slowly in a forced-labor camp.

My joy is like Spring, so warm
it makes flowers bloom all over the Earth.
My pain is like a river of tears,
so vast it fills the four oceans.

Please call me by my true names,
so I can hear all my cries and my laughter at once,
so I can see that my joy and pain are one.

Please call me by my true names,
so I can wake up,
and so the door of my heart
can be left open,
the door of compassion.

1989

Healing and Loving What Is

Healing does not mean going back to the way things were before, but rather allowing what is Now to move us closer to God. ~Ram Dass ♥

Transformation

"There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered." ~ Nelson Mandela

Dark Night of the Soul

"Your dark night is liminal, an in-between place, and that explains in part why it is so uncomfortable.   It is neither here nor there.   It seems to take you out of life rather than further into it.   It becomes difficult to find words to describe your experience, and you may hesitate to describe it to friends because people usually want good news.   They don't know what's going on.   Nobody around knows what is happening to you.   But something is taking place, some deep process dissolving you and remaking you into something new."   Thomas Moore

Women's Bodies

"Women's body has carried the man's shadow of lust, greed and sloth.  Consciousness is also absent that neither recognizes the rape of the body soul.  Neither considers it a moral issue.  Neither hears the voice crying out from dis-eased genitals.   Each goes to the doctor for pills and salve."  Marion Woodman