Self-Compassion

“To the degree that we look clearly and compassionately at ourselves, we feel confident and fearless about looking into someone else’s eyes.”

-Pema Chödrön

Equanimity

"When the energy simply flows through us, just as it flows through the grass and the trees and the ravens and the bears and the moose and the ocean and the rocks, we discover that we are not solid at all.  And if we sit still like the mountain Gampo Lhatse in a hurricane, if we don't protect ourselves from the trueness and the vividness and the immediacy and the lack of confirmation of simply being part of life, then we are not this separate being who has to have things turn out our way."  Pema Chodron

Teachers

WHO’S ON YOUR LIST?

"Boss, coworker, spouse, roommate, mother, father, child—who are the people you really dislike and wish would simply go away? Be grateful to them: they’re your own special gurus, showing up right on time to keep you honest. It’s the troublemakers in your life who cause you to see that you’ve shut down, that you’ve armored yourself, that you’ve hidden your head in the sand. If you didn’t get angry at them, if you didn’t get fed up with them, you would never be able to cultivate patience. If you didn’t envy them, if you weren’t jealous of them, you would never think to stretch beyond your mean-spiritedness and try to rejoice in their good fortune. If you never met your match, you might think you were better than everybody else and arrogantly criticize their neurotic behavior rather than do something about your own."

(Living Beautifully with Uncertainty and Change)   Pema Chodron 

Heart

"From the beginning to the very end
pointing to our own hearts to discover
What is true isn't just a matter of honesty
but also compassion and respect
for what we see."  Pema Chodron

Change

"Things are always ending and arising and ending.  But we are strangely conditioned to want to experience just the birth part and not the death part...We have so much fear of not being in control, of not being able to hold to things.  Yet the true nature of life is that we're never in control; we can never hold onto anything.  That's how life is.  Although we can accept this intellectually, moment by moment it brings up a lot of panic and fear.  So my path has been learning to relax with this lack of control and the panic that accompanies it, learning to stay in the space of uncertainty, learning to die continually."   Pema Chodron

Dillusion

"All of what we crave in life - security, beauty, youth, energy, power - is out of our control.  All of what we fear - loss, decay, illness, aging, death - will come to pass."  Pema Chondron

Moment

"One can appreciate & celebrate each moment — there’s nothing more sacred. There’s nothing more vast or absolute. In fact, there’s nothing more!"

Acceptance

"We can stop struggling with what occurs and see it's true face without calling it the enemy.   Our practice is not about accomplishing anything - not about winning or losing - but about ceasing to struggle and relax as it is.   That is what we are doing when we sit down and meditate.   That attitude spreads into the rest of our lives."  Pema Chodron

Human Body

‎"It's also helpful to realize that this very body that we have, that is sitting right here right now... with its aches and pleasures... is exactly what we need to be fully human, fully awake, fully alive." ~Pema Chödrön

Kindness to Self

‎"Learning how to be kind to ourselves, learning how to respect ourselves, is important. The reason it's important is that, fundamentally, when we look into our own hearts and begin to discover what is confused and what is brilliant, what is bitter and what is sweet, it isn't just ourselves that we're discovering. We're discovering the universe." Pema Chodron

Essence

‎"You are the sky. Everything else - it's just the weather." Pema Chondron

Story

"There are no true stories.  We are making up every one of them."  Pema Chondron

Growth

"This place of feeling sqeezed is a very important part in our lives where we can really learn something. The point where we are not able to take it or leave it, where we are caught between a rock or a hard place, caught with both the upliftedness of our ideas and the rawness of what is happening in front of our eyes-that is indeed a very fruitful place.

When we feel squeezed there's a tendency for the mind to become small. We feel like a victim, like a pathetic, hopeless case. At that moment of hassle or bewilderment or embarrassment, our minds become bigger.

Instead of taking what's actually occurred as a statement of personal weakness or someone else's power, instead of feeling stupid we could be there, feeling off guard, not knowing what to do, just hanging out there with the raw and tender energy of the moment. This is the place where we begin to learn.

We're so used to running from discomfort, and we're so predictable. If we don't like it, we strike out at someone or beat up on ourselves. We want to have security and certainty of some kind when we actually have no ground to stand on at all.

The next time there is no ground to stand on, don't consider it an obstacle. Consider it a remarkable stroke of luck. We have no ground to stand on, and at the same time it could soften us and inspire us. Finally, after all these years, we could finally grow up."

Pema Chondron

Teachers

"When you've met your match you've found your teacher."  Pema Chondron

Troublemakers

"If we were to come up with one word about each of the troublemakers in our lives, we would find ourselves with a list of descriptions of our own rejected qualities which we project onto the outside world.   The people who repel us unwittingly show us aspects of ourselves we find unacceptable, which others can't see.   They mirror us and give us the chance to befriend all of that ancient stuff that we carry around like a backpack full of granite boulders."   Pema Chondron

Feeding the Fire

"If you aren't feeding the fire of anger or the fire of craving by talking to yourself, then the fire doesn't have anything to feed on.   It peeks and passes on.   Instead of relating directly with sorrow or loneliness or the anger, we think that the way to end it is to blame it on someone else.   We think, curiously enough, that this will make the pain go away.  Instead, acting out is what makes it last."   Pema Chondron

Gaurding

"Instead of guarding yourself, instead of pushing things away, begin to get in touch with the fact that there's a very soft spot under all that armor, and blame is probably one of the most well-perfected armors that we have." Pema Chondron

Fear

"To be fearless isn't really to overcome fear, it's to know it's nature."   Pema Chondron

Ego

"Ego is not sin.  Ego is not something you get rid of.  Ego is something that you come to know-something that you befriend not by acting out or repressing all the feelings that you feel."  Pema Chondron

Our soft hearts

"Acting out and repressing are the main ways that we shield our hearts, the main ways that we never connect with our vulnerability, our compassion, our sense of the open, fresh dimension of our being.   By acting out or repressing we invite suffering, bewilderment, or confusion to intensify.   Instead of acting out or repressing-use the situation as an opportunity to touch that soft spot.  Underneath all that craving or aversion or jealousy or feeling wretched about yourself, underneath the hopelessness and despair and depression, there's something extremely soft.   Feel the wounded heart that is underneath the addiction, self-loathing or anger.  If someone comes along and shoots an arrow in your heart, it's fruitless to stand there and yell at the person.  It would be much better to turn your attention to the fact that there's an arrow in your heart."  Pema Chondron