Facing Fear

I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain. ~ Dune

and you tried to change didn’t you?
closed your mouth more
tried to be softer
prettier
less volatile, less awake
but even when sleeping you could feel
him travelling away from you in his dreams
so what did you want to do love
split his head open?
you can’t make homes out of human beings
someone should have already told you that
and if he wants to leave
then let him leave
you are terrifying
and strange and beautiful
something not everyone knows how to love.

Warsan Shire

Patterns

"We are all constantly in a process of creating, sustaining or destroying the patterns that carry our life.  Often we suffer terribly because we resist these elemental needs.   Given our stubbornness and willfulness, we often find ourselves sorely stalled in the face of change."  Mark Nepo

Dark Times

"Quiet friend who has come so far,
feel how your breathing makes more space around you.
Let this darkness be a bell tower
and you the bell. As you ring,
what batters you becomes your strength.
Move back and forth into the change.
What is it like, such intensity of pain?
If the drink is bitter, turn yourself to wine.
In this uncontainable night,
be the mystery at the crossroads of your senses,
the meaning discovered there.
And if the world has ceased to hear you,
say to the silent earth: I flow.
To the rushing water, speak: I am."
Sonnets to Orpheus II, 29

Rilke

No more Swatting

"We all suffer the uncertainty of being hurt by the life that surrounds us, and we all have a changing ring of safety beyond which we are likely to hurt other living things in the guise of self-defense.  How often we imagine things are dangerous when they are only doing what comes naturally.  This is too much like the dance we do with strangers and loved ones alike.  How often we murder parts of ourselves by not letting things advance or come close.  How often we let fear and the swat rule our emotional lives.  How often we kill or chase away everything that moves.  I think of Francis of Assisi, who held so still the birds landed on his branchlike arms, and we wonder why we are so lonely when we won't let anything full of life come near.   If we could only see the bee, or the bird, or our enemy as a brief living center like ourselves, we could let them go on their way without pulling us into opposition."   Mark Nepo

Trans-formation

Living long enough we all find ourselves surrounded by an old way of thinking, being or loving that is going up in flames.    In that unexpected moment, we usually find ourselves full of fear, feeling trapped by an old way of life coming in on us.  But this is the passage of rebirth that we must move through if our lives are to unfold.  It is the momentary and painful crossing from what is old into what is new.  We must trust that the greater sea we are jumping into will douse whatever catches fire as we move through.   This is what faith is all about.   Mark Nepo

Transformation

As a frightened man in a burning boat
has only one way to the rest of his life,
we must move with courage
through the wall of flame
into the greater sea. 

Mark Nepo

Transformation and Change

"We create patterns that others depend on, and then the last thing we ever imagined happens; we grow and change, then then to stay vital we must break the patterns we created. There is no blame or fault in this. It is commonplace in nature. Watch the ocean and the shore do their dance of buildup and crumble and you'll see this happens daily.

We know we are close to this threshold when we hear someone say, "You're not yourself," or "That was out of character for you." What is difficult at this juncture is to resist either complying with how others see us or withholding who we really are.

The challenge, which I don't do well but stay committed to, is to say to those we love, "I am more than I have shown you and more than you are willing to see. Let's work our love and know each other more fully." Mark Nepo

Refuge

After the death of a family member, Terry Tempest Williams, author, conservationist and activist wrote in her book Refuge: "I am slowly, painfully discovering that my refuge is not found in my mother, my grandmother, or even the birds of Bear River. My refuge exists in my capacity to love. If I can learn to love death then I can begin to find refuge in change."

Loving What Is

"Life is simple. Everything happens for you, not to you. Everything happens at exactly the right moment, neither too soon nor too late. You don't have to like it... it's just easier if you do."
— Byron Katie

Swearing/Profanity

"In certain trying circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity furnishes a relief denied even to prayer." ~Mark Twain

Transformation

"To change, you must face the dragon of your appetites with another dragon: the life-energy of the soul" ~ Rumi

Kindness

Before you know what kindness really is
you must lose things,
feel the future dissolve in a moment
like salt in a weakened broth.
What you held in your hand,
what you counted and carefully saved,
all this must go so you know
how desolate the landscape can be
between the regions of kindness.
How you ride and ride
thinking the bus will never stop,
the passengers eating maize and chicken
will stare out the window forever.

Before you learn the tender gravity of kindness,
you must travel where the Indian in a white poncho
lies dead by the side of the road.
You must see how this could be you,
how he too was someone
who journeyed through the night with plans
and the simple breath that kept him alive.

Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside,
you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing.
You must wake up with sorrow.
You must speak to it till your voice
catches the thread of all sorrows
and you see the size of the cloth.

Then it is only kindness that makes sense anymore,
only kindness that ties your shoes
and sends you out into the day to mail letters and
purchase bread,
only kindness that raises its head
from the crowd of the world to say
it is I you have been looking for,
and then goes with you every where
like a shadow or a friend.

by Naomi Shihab Nye from “Words Under the Words”

Resistance

"Resistance won't kill you right away. No it won't, it slowly crimps the hose of life force, a little bit everyday so that we don't notice until one day we find we can barely get out of bed! Embrace change! Experience the new energy that gets released when we do." From the book "The Thank You Economy"

It Doesn't Interest Me

"It doesn't interest me if there is one God
Or many gods.
I want to know if you beling - or feel abandoned;
If you know dispair
Or can see it in others.
I want to know
If you are prepared to live in the world
With it's harsh need to change you,
If you can look back with firm eyes
Saying "this is where I stand."
I want to know if you know how to melt
Into that fierce heart of living.
Falling toward the center of your longing.
I want to know if you are willing
To live day by day
With the consequences of love
And the bitter unwanted passion
Of your sure defeat.
If you have been told
In that fierce embrace
Even the God's
Speak of God."

David Whyte

Darkness

Quiet friend who has come so far,
feel how your breathing makes more space around you.
Let this darkness be a bell tower
and you the bell. As you ring,

what batters you becomes your strength.
Move back and forth into the change.
What is it like, such intensity of pain?
If the drink is bitter, turn yourself to wine.

In this uncontainable night,
be the mystery at the crossroads of your senses,
the meaning discovered there.

And if the world has ceased to hear you,
say to the silent earth: I flow.
To the rushing water, speak: I am.

Rilke 

Imperfection

Face your deficiencies and acknowledge them; but do not let them master you. Let them teach you patience, sweetness, insight... When we do the best we can, we never know what miracle is wrought in our life, or in the life of another.
-   Helen Keller

Contradiction

"When we discover the supreme happiness of unity within ourselves we reconcile what once seemed irreconcilable.  Opposites become partners.   Our longing for stability in a constantly changing world becomes humorous.  Our desires for connection and our troubles with intimacy become grist for the spiritual mill.  We allow diversity to flourish within the context of unity.   We understand that the unadulterated, pure, singleness of feeling we long for can be experienced only when we allow all feelings to live in peace within our hearts."  Elizabeth Lesser

Change

"Things are always ending and arising and ending.  But we are strangely conditioned to want to experience just the birth part and not the death part...We have so much fear of not being in control, of not being able to hold to things.  Yet the true nature of life is that we're never in control; we can never hold onto anything.  That's how life is.  Although we can accept this intellectually, moment by moment it brings up a lot of panic and fear.  So my path has been learning to relax with this lack of control and the panic that accompanies it, learning to stay in the space of uncertainty, learning to die continually."   Pema Chodron

Social Change

"The first resistance to social change is to say it's not necessary."

Gloria Steinem