Family

"Sometimes when i think of my parents, who have hurt me, I am lulled by a wintering sky to feel for them, to try on their view, but in my empathy an old pattern kicks in and I start to lose the truth of my hurt, as if there is only room for one set of feelings -theirs.

The struggle is a common one.  So often we feel for others and lose ourselves, or cut others off to preserve ourselves.  Like a radio that can only tune to one station at a time, it seems like only one side of things can be received, though all sides are broadcast.

But compassion is a deeper thing that waits beyond the tension of choosing sides.  Compassion, in practice, does not require us to give up the truth of what we feel or the truth of our reality.  Nor does it allow us to minimize the humanity of those who hurt us.  Rather, we are asked to know ourselves enough that we can stay open to the truth of others, even when their truth or their inablility to live up to their truth has hurt us.

This does not remove the emotional facts of our lives, nor does it ask us to remain in a hurtful situation.  Rather compassion asks that we open like mountains to the sky, like mountains that can withstand every kind of weather."  Mark Nepo

Parenting

"Accept the children the way we accept trees—with gratitude, because they are a blessing—but do not have expectations or desires. You don’t expect trees to change, you love them as they are." ~ Isabel Allende ♥

Soulmate

Most people have more than one soul mate. You may already be in several soul mate relationships with friends and loved ones. A soul mate can come in the form of a life partner, treasured friend, child, or lover. A soul mate can be someone with whom you share a spiritual path, a joint work in the world, or a commitment to be parents to certain souls. It can be someone whose growth you are sponsoring, such as a child.
~Sanaya Roman

On Children
Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.

 

 

Parenting

"There Pain, no single effort more radical in its potential for saving the world
than a transformation in the way we raise our children." - Marianne Williamson

Parenting

THE WAY WINGS SHOULD

What will
our children do in the morning?
Will they wake with their hearts wanting to play,
...the way wings
should?

Will they have dreamed the needed flights and gathered
the strength from the planets that all men and women need to balance
the wonderful charms of
the earth

so that her power and beauty does not make us forget our own?

I know all about the ways of the heart - how it wants to be alive.

Love so needs to love
that it will endure almost anything, even abuse,
just to flicker for a moment. But the sky's mouth is kind,
its song will never hurt you, for I
sing those words.

What will our children do in the morning
if they do not see us
fly?

~ Rumi ~

Parenting

"Nothing has a stronger influence psychologically on their environment and especially on their children than the unlived life of the parent."  C.G Jung

"If you see yourself
as no one worth looking at;
if you believe you are
not worth listening to,
if they told you,
"That's not what you saw,
not what you heard,
not what you think
you cannot trust yourself"
You are lost.

Don't look to others to find you,
to love and take care of you now.
You'll suck them dry.

No one out there
is responsible.
Go back and find
your soul.
Be mother and father
to yourself,
Until the divine parents
arrive.

Christina Baldwin

Gift Me

 GIFT ME

Gift me with your presence
Show up fully, but only when you really want to
Not out of obligation or fear of disappointing.

Gift me with your stories
Of joy and pain, for through them you grow
To love life and learn wisdom
And in hearing them from you, I deepen too.
Tell it all, every detail...
What was said, felt and discovered
And how it changed you

Gift me with honesty
Tell me when I hurt or disappoint you
When I make you proud or just that you love me.
Tell me the truth, as you see it,
In me, the world and life
As the unfolding Mystery


Gift me with forgiveness
An honest attempt to give
Not only me, but all you meet
The benefit of the doubt
That even in my faults and frailties
You see the inherent worth and Light of God
Most of all...

Gift me with a chosen silence
When it would be easier to judge
Or you feel you can't resist the urge
To share with another the latest amusing, confusing
Insane thing you saw me do...or refrain from
For time has a way, of bringing all things full circle

Gift me with a compassionate, listening ear
When I seek a witness to my life and experience
And open your heart even wider,
That it may take it ALL in
And love me even more when I most confuse you

Gift me with a place at your table
A phone call just because
An invitation to adventure
And the assurance that
Not a day goes by without a smile lifting your lips
In fondness for memories we have yet to create

Gift me with patience
As time slows my steps
And mind's edges dull
Allow me the dignity and freedom of which I am capable,
But if the time comes that I am not safe or sane enough,
Care for me, as I tried to do for you
when you still fit in my arms
And needed a shoulder to sleep on.

Valerie Wilkins Alder  

Thriving

"One of the most dramatic manifestations of the life force is seen in the plant kingdom.   When times are harsh, certain plants become spores.   These plants dampen down and wall off their life force in order to survive.  It is an effective strategy.
      When no one listens, children form spores.  In an environment hostile to their uniqueness, when they are judged, criticized and reshaped through approval into what is wanted rather then supported and allowed to develop naturally into who they are, children wall the unloved parts of themselves away.   But a spore is a survival strategy, not a way of life.   Spores do not grow.  They endure.   What you need to do to survive  may be very different from what you need to do to live."  Rachel Naomi Remen

Letting Go

"Letting go necessitates being with the fear that comes when we become aware that all that we love in the world- our very life itself- is impermanent.   It can bring tremendous relief and rest to let go where we are trying to hold on, trying to keep the same things which by their very nature are constantly changing.   This does not mean loving life and the world less fiercely.   Loving well and living fiercely are not the same as holding on."  Rachel Naomi Remen

Parental Responsibility

"Parents at times avoid responsibility for their own lives by hiding behind their children, taking responsibility for them rather than for themselves.  Living our own lives is not only a good example, it creates community within the family, for community can only exist where people are free to be individuals."   Thomas Moore

Parenting

"As I breathe in the dark smell of the earth,  I will stop trying to solve everything.  I will revere the mystery.   Then I will raise my face to the brilliant blue sky and receive the sun on my skin.  I will wash myself with gratitude.  I will promise to trust the wisdom of the unseen hand in my children's lives.  I will grant them their god-given right (as if I have any say in the matter) to fall down and get up again.  I'll notice, for the umpteenth time, that I am a small creature, loking at the smallest segment of a huge painting.   Here, from our little corner of the canvas, how can we fathom the purpose in the design, the overarching message, or the end of the story?   And so today, I will stretch out in the leaves and drift into space.   I'll let myself be a child, safe in the arms of the Great Mother and the Great Father"  Elizabeth Lesser

Parenting

"Parenting in all of it's stages is a spiritual path with mythic twists and turns.  If your spiritual goal is to embrace life, moment by moment, in both rapture and it's pain, then parenting offers you that opportunity every day.   Holy texts throughout the ages tell us that the truth is to be found between the seeming opposites of life.  Between your own will and the greater will; between limits and liberty; between the call to care for others and the need to care for yourself.   In the parent-child relationship you get excellent feedback all the time from a pint-sized spiritual master whose specialty lies in teaching you how to keep on loving even when you are tired, scared, confused or pissed off.  Isn't that what every seeker is after?"  Elizabeth Lesser

Parenting

"Parenthood is a never-ending journey down a wide river of worry and love.  Your heart expands to accomodate a vastness of feeling so tender and unselfish that you step boldly into the nobility of your true nature.   By the time you have mastered communication with tantrum-throwing toddler and become addicted to the warm, wet smell of your little one after a bath, he squirms away and goes to kindergarten."  Elizabeth Lesser

Parenting

"Parenthood is a clumsy yet majestic dance into the flames.  When you parent, you fall in love with a person who is always changing into someone else, and who you know will leave you."  Elizabeth Lesser