and you tried to change didn’t you?
closed your mouth more
tried to be softer
prettier
less volatile, less awake
but even when sleeping you could feel
him travelling away from you in his dreams
so what did you want to do love
split his head open?
you can’t make homes out of human beings
someone should have already told you that
and if he wants to leave
then let him leave
you are terrifying
and strange and beautiful
something not everyone knows how to love.

Warsan Shire

Abundance

"One of the most difficult things for us to accept is that beneath all our dreams and disappointments, we live and breathe in abundance.  It is hard when in pain to believe that all we ever need is before us, around us, within us.  And yet it is true.

The humble challenge of being  human is not in agreeing or disputing this truth.  Our humble way, if we can open it, is to root ourselves beneath the thousand dreams and excuses that keep us from the ground we walk.  Time and again, we are asked to outlast what we want and hope for, in order to see what's there.  It is enough."  Mark Nepo

Transformation and Change

"We create patterns that others depend on, and then the last thing we ever imagined happens; we grow and change, then then to stay vital we must break the patterns we created. There is no blame or fault in this. It is commonplace in nature. Watch the ocean and the shore do their dance of buildup and crumble and you'll see this happens daily.

We know we are close to this threshold when we hear someone say, "You're not yourself," or "That was out of character for you." What is difficult at this juncture is to resist either complying with how others see us or withholding who we really are.

The challenge, which I don't do well but stay committed to, is to say to those we love, "I am more than I have shown you and more than you are willing to see. Let's work our love and know each other more fully." Mark Nepo

"Like the women of Liberia, we broke the barriers of religion, race, ethnicity, status and we stepped out and redeemed out time.  We broke all the barriers that patriarchy has set in front of us and we said "War is nonsense.  Peace is what we want.  We will take it if you don't give it to us."  We can never, ever redeem our time if we continue to wait for the men to give it to us.  Is it in your home?  Is it in your community?  It is time for us to break the barriers that separate us.  It's time for us to bind together.  Hold on to that thing that binds us, even though patriarchy wants us to ignore it. If you don't know what I'm talking about when you go to take a bath, find another woman to stand  by you.  The thing that unites us is our Womanhood.  It moves beyond child, it moves beyond tribe, it moves beyond culture, it moves beyond everything.  As women, we need to hold together.  As women, we need to redeem our time.  As women we need to take it back.  As in the 60's and 70's.  As women, we need to be more radical.  There is nothing wrong with stepping out there and saying we are claiming our space.  Why are there still issues of discrimination?  You need to take it!  The men will not give it because it is shifting the status quo.  You need to take it. "  Lehmay  Gbowee

How Many?

How many people who believe they never dream are sleepwalking in their marriage, in their job, in their church, blindly adhering to ideas they never question, with no heart in what they are doing?"  Marion Woodman

Gift Me

 GIFT ME

Gift me with your presence
Show up fully, but only when you really want to
Not out of obligation or fear of disappointing.

Gift me with your stories
Of joy and pain, for through them you grow
To love life and learn wisdom
And in hearing them from you, I deepen too.
Tell it all, every detail...
What was said, felt and discovered
And how it changed you

Gift me with honesty
Tell me when I hurt or disappoint you
When I make you proud or just that you love me.
Tell me the truth, as you see it,
In me, the world and life
As the unfolding Mystery


Gift me with forgiveness
An honest attempt to give
Not only me, but all you meet
The benefit of the doubt
That even in my faults and frailties
You see the inherent worth and Light of God
Most of all...

Gift me with a chosen silence
When it would be easier to judge
Or you feel you can't resist the urge
To share with another the latest amusing, confusing
Insane thing you saw me do...or refrain from
For time has a way, of bringing all things full circle

Gift me with a compassionate, listening ear
When I seek a witness to my life and experience
And open your heart even wider,
That it may take it ALL in
And love me even more when I most confuse you

Gift me with a place at your table
A phone call just because
An invitation to adventure
And the assurance that
Not a day goes by without a smile lifting your lips
In fondness for memories we have yet to create

Gift me with patience
As time slows my steps
And mind's edges dull
Allow me the dignity and freedom of which I am capable,
But if the time comes that I am not safe or sane enough,
Care for me, as I tried to do for you
when you still fit in my arms
And needed a shoulder to sleep on.

Valerie Wilkins Alder  

Words Awakening...by "Me"

Sweet, Innocent One
Eyes wide, heart open
Your fragile and growing dream eggs
Gestating
All in one hopeful, well-chosen (or so you thought) basket.

In such a hurry
Born of boredom
And weary of waiting
So much, so long held back
Bursting at the seams of your someday.

What you only see now
Is how many of those dreams
Were lovingly chosen
By well-meaning others.

You filled your plate
Your cup runneth 'ore
You graciously and anxiously accepted
Grateful at last to have found your place.

You busied yourself warming eggs
And unknowingly feeding others hatching baby dreams
Unaware you held inside
Your own embryos of joy
Growing; patiently waiting
Wondering if you'd ever stop long enough to listen.

He was raised as a sheep
At least that is what he was always told
But deep inside the fangs and fur,
Of a wolf were growing
They more suited his spirit and fed the feelings of aliveness he craved.

Told bedtime stories of lives lived happily-ever-after
Grazing on grass
With the guidance and protection of shepherds. 

Sometimes his tongue caught the sharp edge of a canine
Other times he struggled to push down the urge to run free
Way faster than he had been told sheep could run.

It concerned him, but he never quite dare
Untie the string he'd discovered
Holding the cloak of soft, white wool around and over him.


You, were raised as a shepherd girl.
It suited you.
Spending your days tending to others
Occupying your mind with their safety and happiness.
It sort of helped, but inside the little girl longed
To abandon the bonnet
And take off running
Not caring where it took you. 

He picked you as his Shepherd.
Hoping you could make him happy in the rolling hills of green
When wandering and hunting were slowly
Boiling in his blood

Both innocent actors
Playing parts
Wearing costumes
Long ago assigned,
But growing tighter by the day.

Both awaking confused
At yoke-covered whiskers
Your mysteriously closing heart
At the sight of your missing eggs
But afraid to look for explanations
Not wanting....but wanting...the play to end.
After all, sheep don't eat eggs or have whiskers
And Shepherds don't abandon their flock.

Only recently
Through spectacles of hindsight
Have you dared really look back
And stare at the set
That was your life
And compassionately embrace
The broken hearts
The deep, mutual disappointments
The missing eggs
The dissatisfaction of subsiding
On a diet of grass
And living life in one pasture
With only one basket of dreams
Meant to keep it all together

In the end, the curtain descended
The wolf took off the cloak and took the blame
But also deserves the credit.

For in eating your eggs
And life hiding your basket
You were left
Perfectly poised
To take center stage
In the starring role
As yourself. 

Valerie Wilkins Alder 2008

Love

"There are many people who love each other, who belong with each other, but their disappointment with each other, or the wounds they have caused each other, hold them out of reach from each other.   Wouldn't it be great if they could risk again coming in on a wave of new hope to the shore of each other's lives?"  John O' Donahue