Dark Times

"Quiet friend who has come so far,
feel how your breathing makes more space around you.
Let this darkness be a bell tower
and you the bell. As you ring,
what batters you becomes your strength.
Move back and forth into the change.
What is it like, such intensity of pain?
If the drink is bitter, turn yourself to wine.
In this uncontainable night,
be the mystery at the crossroads of your senses,
the meaning discovered there.
And if the world has ceased to hear you,
say to the silent earth: I flow.
To the rushing water, speak: I am."
Sonnets to Orpheus II, 29

Rilke

Forgiveness

“Forgiveness has nothing to do with absolving a criminal of his crime. It has everything to do with relieving oneself of the burden of being a victim--letting go of the pain and transforming oneself from victim to survivor.”
― C.R. Strahan

Urgency

"The doorway to our next step of growth is always behind the urgency of now.  Now more than ever, when all feels urgent, you must cut the strings to all events.  Now more than ever, when the weights you carry at your wrists, you must not run or flail.  Now more than ever, when each decision feels like the end, you must believe that each question is a beginning.   Now more than ever, when you fear that being who you are is a knife to those you love, you must be strong inside where no one has seen you, for loving from there can only make those you love grow.  Now more than ever, when feeling that you are the source and recipient of all pain, you must bow your head till the ancient channel from the sky to the heart can reopen, til you remember that you are a blessed piece of spirit-dust in spirit-wind. 

In this way, pray to know your place in the human family like you've never known it.  In this way, pray to have your True Self inch through your turmoil.  In this way, love yourself the way you love your children or your dog or your dearest friend, without reservation.  In this way, today with all it's hardships will spill into tomorrow, and decisions will become clear as streams thawing."  Mark Nepo

Hurt

"The worm is one of the only creatures that grows from bing cut.  Mysteriously, if you cut a worm in two, each half becomes whole, and you have two worms.

What is it in how the worm lives that allows it to grow from its pain, and how might we translate that to being human  It lives in humus -the soil- inside and out. 

Perhaps the secret to growing from our wounds is to live close to the earth, to live with our hearts and minds and bellies always in touch -both inside and out - with that which is larger than we are. 

Perhaps, when cut in two, it is a life of humility, of risking to be at one with the soil of our experience, that allows us to heal into something entirely new."  Mark Nepo

Refuge

After the death of a family member, Terry Tempest Williams, author, conservationist and activist wrote in her book Refuge: "I am slowly, painfully discovering that my refuge is not found in my mother, my grandmother, or even the birds of Bear River. My refuge exists in my capacity to love. If I can learn to love death then I can begin to find refuge in change."

When was the last time you sang?

"We often underestimate the power of giving voice, bit it is real and sustaining.  It is the basis of all song.  It is at the heart of all hymns and matras.  And it works it's healing, not so much by being heard as by the fact that in giving voice to what is within, even through the softest whisper, we allow the world of spirit to soften our pain.  In this way, the smallest moan is in itself a lullaby.  In giving voice to what we feel, the darkest cry uttered with honesty can arrive at the holiest of songs."   Mark Nepo

When You Can Endure

WHEN YOU CAN ENDURE

When

The words stop

And you can endure the silence

That reveals your heart's

Pain

Of emptiness

Or that great wrenching - sweet longing.

That is the time to try and listen

To what the /Beloved's

Eyes

Most want

To

Say.

Hafiz

Pain vs. Suffering

"There will always be pain in life.   This is something we learn in life as we progress spiritually.  We also learn that if we resist pain, if we fear it, then we create additional pain, called suffering.  Our resistance to pain stands between us and full-emodied living; it keeps us at war with our problems and from making peace with life's dual nature."   Hazrat Inayat Khan

Your Pain

"Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.  Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that it's heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain.  And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not be less wondrous than your joy; And you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields.  And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief."  Kahlil Gibran

Healing

"When you are in pain or feel ill or chronically tired, take few moments before seeking treatment to seek healing.   Resist the urge to tranquilize or avoid pain."  Andrew Weil

Waking Up

"The coming to consciousness is not a discovery of something new; it is a long and painful process to that which has always been."  Helen Luke

Oneness

"If we're not planting seeds that are going to reveal that oneness to us, we're simply perpetuating our own pain, because all of our suffering comes from being lost in separateness." --Krishna Das

"Like the women of Liberia, we broke the barriers of religion, race, ethnicity, status and we stepped out and redeemed out time.  We broke all the barriers that patriarchy has set in front of us and we said "War is nonsense.  Peace is what we want.  We will take it if you don't give it to us."  We can never, ever redeem our time if we continue to wait for the men to give it to us.  Is it in your home?  Is it in your community?  It is time for us to break the barriers that separate us.  It's time for us to bind together.  Hold on to that thing that binds us, even though patriarchy wants us to ignore it. If you don't know what I'm talking about when you go to take a bath, find another woman to stand  by you.  The thing that unites us is our Womanhood.  It moves beyond child, it moves beyond tribe, it moves beyond culture, it moves beyond everything.  As women, we need to hold together.  As women, we need to redeem our time.  As women we need to take it back.  As in the 60's and 70's.  As women, we need to be more radical.  There is nothing wrong with stepping out there and saying we are claiming our space.  Why are there still issues of discrimination?  You need to take it!  The men will not give it because it is shifting the status quo.  You need to take it. "  Lehmay  Gbowee

New Consciousness Leaders

"While we will probably never grasp the entirety of God's thoughts or the wisdom of the universe, or whatever you call the vast organizing principle of existence, we can listen more deeply for inklings, we can pay closer attention to the cause and effect of our actions.  We can raise our own standards of behavior toward something kinder and grander. 

What might leadership look like if generated from a wise consciousness?   Here's my stab at some answers.  A New Consciousness Leader knows the difference between strength and force.  Strength comes from a deep, inner confidence; from loving and respecting and expressing one's own authentic self.   That kind of strength opens the gate to real love of others and life itself.  Force comes from a deep inner wound that spawns the urge to dominate and even the score.  A New Consciousness Leader uses her strength.  She is bold, direct and decisive.  She views terror and violence as the tactics of cowards and fools.  A New Consciousness leader also knows the difference between outrage and rage.  I think of outrage as Holy Anger.  Strong emotional responsiveness to the pain of others; to injustice, to ignorance.  Outrage is fierce but it never dehumanizes.  It fills a leaders sails with the winds of action, but it also fills her heart with discernment and compassion.  Rage, on the other hand, is like a forest fire.  It is impatient and it is vindictive and it is short sighted.  A New Consciousness Leader uses the energy of outrage to persuade and guide and include and create."

Heart

"We may think that by closing the heart we'll protect ourselves from feeling the pain of the world, but instead we isolate ourselves even more from joy."  Elizabeth Lesser

Suffering and Pain

"Pain is a given.  Suffering comes from our resistance to pain."  Stephen Levine

Armor

"The same armor that accumulates over the years to defend against the pain and fear becomes the same armor that keeps us from healing, from experiencing joy, from feeling love.   This armoring is the accumulation of all the moments we have given ourselves and others so little mercy.   We are so hard on ourselves, so hard on each other.  Healing begins when we soften our stance toward our own tender self."  Stephen Levine

Heartfulness

"Like waves on the shore, our hearts normally rush toward joy, then pull back, afraid of pain and loss.  Heartfulness is the willingness and ability not to pull back."  Elizabeth Lesser

Seperation

"Pain and separation occur when we regret the past or worry about the future.  Here and now is ecstasy." Ram Dass

Please Call Me By My True Names

Don't say that I will depart tomorrow --
even today I am still arriving.

Look deeply: every second I am arriving
to be a bud on a Spring branch,
to be a tiny bird, with still-fragile wings,
learning to sing in my new nest,
to be a caterpillar in the heart of a flower,
to be a jewel hiding itself in a stone.

I still arrive, in order to laugh and to cry,
to fear and to hope.

The rhythm of my heart is the birth and death
of all that is alive.

I am the mayfly metamorphosing
on the surface of the river.
And I am the bird
that swoops down to swallow the mayfly.

I am the frog swimming happily
in the clear water of a pond.
And I am the grass-snake
that silently feeds itself on the frog.

I am the child in Uganda, all skin and bones,
my legs as thin as bamboo sticks.
And I am the arms merchant,
selling deadly weapons to Uganda.

I am the twelve-year-old girl,
refugee on a small boat,
who throws herself into the ocean
after being raped by a sea pirate.
And I am the pirate,
my heart not yet capable
of seeing and loving.

I am a member of the politburo,
with plenty of power in my hands.
And I am the man who has to pay
his "debt of blood" to my people
dying slowly in a forced-labor camp.

My joy is like Spring, so warm
it makes flowers bloom all over the Earth.
My pain is like a river of tears,
so vast it fills the four oceans.

Please call me by my true names,
so I can hear all my cries and my laughter at once,
so I can see that my joy and pain are one.

Please call me by my true names,
so I can wake up,
and so the door of my heart
can be left open,
the door of compassion.

1989